Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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