i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You are the jesus of drinking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
