I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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