For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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