xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i think i have herpe
just one?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
