Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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