I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
