WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
