A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize