I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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