i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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