It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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