How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
