:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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