i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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