Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
