It's like God shit irony all over that family
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
