Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
