Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The beer is more important than you right now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
