So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
