Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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