this beer tastes like vomit already
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
