Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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