i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
