I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bring me that man meat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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