Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
