the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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