Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
