everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
