You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
...so i touched it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
