Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
