why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
