Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
