I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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