I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
