i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
