Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize