Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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