that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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