he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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