what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I bet he comes in French.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
