Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
