i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
