But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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