Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
