the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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