You can't motorboat a personality
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
