what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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