Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
