Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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