Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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