after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want her autograph on my taint
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
