i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
