Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
