I heard we made out
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
